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Met this fine young thing at the local Circle K. She made a date for a half past eight, and I said, "What the hey." So I journeyed to her crib, and I let myself inside. That chick was slouched down on the couch. I think her brain was fried. Couldn't figure it out, she wouldn't even look at me. Then I saw her eyes, she was hypnotized. Cold glued to her TV. Said, "What's your problem, baby doll? Let's have a little fling." She said, "Hey, you fool, now just be cool. I'm watchin' that Gilligan's Isle Thing." Isle Thing. Isle Thing. Watchin' all night. Must've been a marathon. I was bummin', those shows kept comin'. Here's what was goin' on. These castaways were stranded on this island out at sea. One of 'em called Gilligan said, "Let's name it after me!" He'd mess up every rescue. Man, that first mate was illin'. If I was one of them castaways, I think I'd probably kill him. Just about that time, the telephone began to ring. She said, "Just let it, my machine'll get it. We're watchin' the Gilligan's Isle Thing." Isle Thing. She loves that Gilligan's Isle Thing. Isle Thing. Please, baby baby, please. I liked the professor. He always saved their butts. He could build a nuclear reactor from a couple of coconuts. She said, "That guy's a genius." I shook my head and laughed. I said, "If he's so fly, then tell me why he couldn't build a lousy raft? And while we're on the subject, I'll tell you one thing for sure. Those homeboys brought an awful lot for just a three-hour tour." Then her mom came in the room. It was kind of embarrassing. She said, "Hey, you two, I was once like you, And I love that Gilligan's Isle Thing." Isle Thing. She'd watch that Gilligan's Isle Thing. Please, baby baby, please. Skipper's in a hammock. He's lookin' kinda fat. He'd throw a fit and then he'd hit ol' Gilligan with his hat. Mrs. Howell got it goin' on, but Mr. Howell was meaner. Ginger and Mary Ann could've used some funky cold medina. I was really diggin' this show. I didn't know what to do. It kinda looked like I was hooked. Now I'm an addict too. I know each episode by heart. Now I'm the Rerun King. And on every date we both say up late, And watch the Gilligan's Isle Thing. Isle Thing. Hasta la vista, Little Buddy. Gilligan's Isle Thing.
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