Well here's a story open books can't tell
And it's a story that we know so well
Just like the crocodile hunter caught snakes
The same thing happens with our handshakes, yeah

Well impeccable your friends may seem
With dirty dishes in their bathroom sink
And at the party laughin' kissin' buttcheek
Leavin' mohawks on your toilet seat

When the shmooze is on you go bizerk, with all those perks
But when the party's over, feel like dirt, cuz evil lurks

Well, profess to be wwjd
But turn your back on those who disagree
You should sit and worry bout your own bad self
Who you tryin to prove it to, you or me?

When the shmooze is on you go bizerk, you dive head first
But when the party's over, feel like dirt, cuz evil lurks

Super-ficial-fagilous-conspicuous-alidoshus
Never trust someone who smiles too much it's a psychosis
Come to me with tricks up your sleeve and watch me get ferocious
Soak your feet on solid ground your hocus ain't too pocus
Hum diddle-diddle-diddle, hum diddle-i