Mama was the one who reached down and tied my shoelace
Mama spit on her fingers and used it to clean dirt off my face

Brush your teeth, q-tip your ear,
Take off your sister's new brassiere
Watch pbs, not deputy dawg,
Don't you eat that lincoln log

Oh mama I still don't believe
It's true: the tooth fairy was you
No way!

I love you maaaaaama,
More than than paaaastrama,
Way more than jeffrey daaaahma,
Even more than my nfl paaaaajamas

Mama always calmed down dad when he got too mean
Like the time he almost hit me for stealing his juggs magazine

Stop your jumping,
You'll break the bed
Don't you fill up
On the bread
Take those
Take those
(trying to read cue card)
Take carrots out of your nose,
That's not a hat that's pantyhose
Don't play baseball in your suit,
That magnum pi's very cute
Don't forget vick's vapor-rub,
Stop masturbating in the tu
Thanks for making corn beef hash,
And putting powder on my rash
(so much better)

I love you maaaaaama,
More than golf with arnold paaaaalmaaaa,
More than yellow moons in lucky chaaaaamaaaas,
Def leppard's drummer only had one aaaaaaamaaa

Oh, mrs nealon, yes it's true,
Kevin's gonna sing to you

Come on kevin

I love you maaaaaama

Come on, keep goin'

More than films by brian depaaaaalmaaaa

Thanks for being my date to the praaaaamaaaa

Thanks for writing that note to the draft
Board that said I was gay so I got out
Of vietnaaaamaaa

Mom your way better than the world trade center baaaaamaaaa

Who's name by the way is mohamed salaaaamaaa

I love you even more than richard gere loves the dali laaaaahmaaa

And richard gere was also good in "sommersby",
Which was a melodraaaamaa

Oh, all you moms out there oughta know,
We kids love you so

Have a happy mother's day
Thank you very much!
Thank you!

Adam saaaandlaaa