You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet

Chorus
You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door
He's not the king of Bedside Manor
He hardly even lives there anymore

He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
that I followed you into this shop
but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack, um,
I wouldn't mind riding you bareback
He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor
quite some time ago
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show

Chorus

Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain

Chorus

He's not the King of Bedside Manor
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore

Domo Arigato Mr Roboto

He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of Bedside Manor