Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!
The great big greedy nincompoop!
Augustus Gloop! So Big and Vile!
So greedy, foul, and infantile

'Come on! ' we cried, 'The time is ripe
To send him shooting up the pipe!
But don't, dear children, be alarmed;
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed!

Although, of course, we must admit
He will be altered quite a bit
Slowly, wheels go round and round,
And cogs begin to grind and pound;
We boil him for a minute more,
Until we're absolutely sure

Then out he comes! And now! By grace!
A miracle has taken place
A miracle has taken place

This greedy brute, this louse's ear,
Is loved by people everywhere!
For who could hate or bear a grudge
Against a luscious bit of fudge?