I've only had 5 cans
I've got one more in my hand
And if i drink it really quick
I'll look like more of a man
I've had fuck all to eat
And now I'm slurring my speach
Try and down me some vodka
But its like swallowing bleach
I've promised myself
That I'd go steasy this week
But with the week I've just had
This shit is just what I need
I've been practically saintly
All this work I've done lately
Think its high time
For me to go and get wasted

Absolutely, Utterly, Completely Fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great
Get Me another drink
Absolutely, Utterly, Completely Fucked
And I can't see a thing,
Absolutely wankered

I've only had 9 cans
And now I can't feel my hands,
Getting past the point
Where I can comfortabley
Stand up straight
I feel great, but I'm looking a state,
And i'm getting the impression,
That I've hiot on my mate,
I'm getting me a repuation,
Someone stop me please
Before I make a scene,
I've been practically saintly,
All this work I've done lately,
Think its high time,
For me to go and get wasted

Absolutely