Been dang near two years, since I've had a beer
By gosh that's changin' tonight
Gonna start me a tab, call me a cab,
Might even get in a fight
I ain't goin' hog wildin' forever,
Gonna have myself a night, I can't remember

(Chorus)

Miller Lites, shot a Crown,
Man that stuff burns goin down
One too many Coke and Jack's,
It'll all come floodin back
That old Cuervo way too strong, but one more 'fore I go home,
Fire up the blender
Gonna have myself a night, I can't remember

spoken
oooh Give me a cold towel and a gun

Drunk ain't my style, it'll be a long while,
'Fore I pull that stunt again

spoken
oh my head

Tylenol and Tums, oh no here it comes,
I'm prayin to the porcelyne
This hangover can't last forever,
Done had myself a night, I can't remember

(Chorus)

Shut out the lights, kicked down the door,
Woke up face down on the floor
I better call someone and ask,
"How'd I wind up in this cast?"
I got stamps on both my hands, I wonder who slung that beer can
Right through my winder
Done had myself a night I can't remember

Oooh! My dang liver's nearly gone,
In AA's where I belong, hey thanks bartender
Done had myself a niiight I can't remember

spoken
Twelve steps my foot, I can't even take two!