It might be great to have a kid that I could kick around
a little me to fill up with thoughts
A little me or he or she to fill up with my dreams
a way of saying life is not a loss
I'd keep the tyke away from school
and tutor him myself
keep him from the poison of the crowd
But then again pristine isolation
might not be the best idea
It's not good trying to immortalize yourself
Why stop at one, I might have ten, a regular TV brood
I'd breed a little liberal army in the woods
Just like these redneck lunatics
I see at the local bar
with their tribe of mutant inbred piglets with cloven hooves
I'd teach them how to plant a bomb, start a fire, play guitar
and if they catch a hunter, shoot him in the nuts
I'd try to be as progressive as I could possibly be
as long as I didn't have to try too much
Susie, Jesus, Bogart, Sam
Leslie, Jill and Jeff
Rita, Winny, Andy, Fran and Jet
Boris, Bono, Lucy, Ethel
Bunny, Reg and Tom
that's a lot of names to try not to forget
Carrier, Marlon, Mo and Steve
La Rue and Jerry Lee
Eggplant, Rufus, Dummy, Star and The Glo
I'd need a damn computer to keep track of all these names
I hope this baby thing don't go too far
Hey I hope it's true what my wife said to me
She says, baby, it's the Beginning of a Great Adventure
It might be fun to have a kid that I could kick around
create in my own image like a god
I'd raise my own pallbearers to carry me to my grave
and keep me company when I'm a wizened toothless clod
Some gibbering old fool sitting all alone
drooling on his shirt
some senile old fart playing in the dirt
It might be fun to have a kid I could pass something on to
something better than rage, pain, anger and hurt
I hope it's true what my wife said to me
She says Lou, it's the Beginning of a Great Adventure