Yeah yeah yeah thank you for having me
MY girl is cheap She's so cheap
I told her to goes to Blockbuster
and rent me FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH!
(crowd laughs)
She come back with FOUR fingers!
(crowd laughs)

I was like "AIN'T THAT A BIP!"
You know what I'm sayin?
So so I'm watchin' Barney right"OOOII LOOOVE YOUUUUU"
And and the nigga just have a heart attack!
(crown laughs loudly and cheers)

Soso, I go into Foot Locker cause I want some new shoes!
I take my shoes off, everybody fall out
(crowd laughs)
Got me some new Timbs, some Nikes, some socks, everythang!

And lemme see, lemme see

Oh yeah, oh yeah ohyeahyeah, I'm at the gas station
This nigga come upwipin' my windows, askin me do I have 50 cents?
I told him 'no!'

(crowd laughs loudly and cheers)

Ahhh, ah, ah, eh eh, oh OOOOOUUURHyeah

Mister Shaquiiiiile O'Neal!
Give it up for this guy, ladies and gentlemen!

(crowd laughs loudly)

Boy got a shoe size of a milk carton
Ten gallon hat wearin'
(crowd continues laughing)
Sososo I'm at Pathmark buyin' lightbulbs, right?
And I see this ooold girl I wanted to get back with in high school
Still wearing those same curlers
Slippers and a bathrobe
Talkin bout "I'se hungry!"

(crowd laughs)

Uh, how come all the,
only the 500 pound women wanna go in the diet section?

(ha ha ha ha, I DON'T KNOW HOW THE )

Yeah, um, so, umso
I saw your mother the other day, rightright
She had on this sweatshirt!
It saidUCLA on it!
I was like "Well GODDAMN! I didn't know YOU went to college!
She said "I didn't! My name is Ucla!"

(crowd laughs and cheers wildly)

Mother's feet so long
she sit on the top of the Golden Gate Bridge, and get her toes wet!

(crowd continues laughing)

Play hopscotch like this:
ConnecticutMaineBostonMississippi
Big short neck havin'
so, so lazy, live on the 5th floor, got in the elevator
Pushed 2 twice and then
twice and then said "fuck it!" Walked up the steps

Teeth so yellow I can make lemonade with it!

(crowd laughs loudly)

I meanlike Wu-Tang say,
"Sunshine falls upon a rainy dayskies aregrey"

(they're laughing at me)
(they're laughing at me)
(they're laughing at me)
(stop laughing!)
(stop it! stop laughing!)