Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
And now my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if, if he were my uncle then that also made him brother
Of a widow's grown up daughter who was of course my stepmother

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild, yeah
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
'Cause now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpaw

Oh, I'm my own grandpaw
I'm my own grandpaw
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpaw
Listen to this now

I'm my own grandpaw
You believe that
I'm my own grandpaw
Talk about [Incomprehensible]
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpaw