They say running into you is like running into trouble
You bend my ear and I see double
You're everybody's idea of a waste of time
You still come around ‘cos I used to listen
But I run a steamship I don' run a mission
Don't be mistaken in thinking you're a friend of mine

Those hard luck stories
It's all I ever get from you
Hard luck stories
You're going to drive me out of my mind
Hard luck stories
It's all I ever get from you
Hard luck stories
You're going to drive me out of my mind

Well the boss won't give you change of a penny
Everybody's got money but you haven't any
If I cared about you I'd say it was a crying shame
Your wife ran away, she left you on Sunday
She cried when she left you, she was laughing on Monday
She should have known better and never gone and changed her name

Those hard luck stories
It's all I ever get from you
Hard luck stories
You're going to drive me out of my mind
Hard luck stories
It's all I ever get from you
Hard luck stories
You're going to drive me out of my mind

Why don't you grow up, why don't you settle down
Why don't you get a job, why don't you leave town
Even a chicken has to do what it has to do
You don't like one thing, you don't like another
You don't like anything that looks like bother
Everyone don't like something, and we all don't like you

Those hard luck stories
It's all I ever get from you
Hard luck stories
You're going to drive me out of my mind
Hard luck stories
It's all I ever get from you
Hard luck stories
You're going to drive me out of my mind