What did I do wrong?
Oh, you nearly drove me cuckoo
Am I really all that bad?
You're worse than Hannibal Lector, Charlie Manson, Freddie Kruger
Why are we still together?
Oh, I can't leave you till you're dead
You mean, "till death do us part"?
I mean like cyanide strangulation or an axe through your head
It was lucky for us I turned the radio on
They say that music soothes the savage beast
There was something in that voice that stopped us seeing red
The two of us would surely have ended up dead
You stopped us from killing each other (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
You'll never know, but you saved our lives (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
I've never thrown my knickers at you
And I don't come from Wales
Still haven't solved our problem
You mean we hate each other's guts
Still wanna poison your pizza
And I still wanna cut off your nuts
I phoned the marriage guidance
I tied the phone line round your neck
I'm sick of all this hatred
Oh that'll be the arsenic making you sick
You were about to drive me over the edge of a cliff
As I tried to jump out, I knocked the stereo on
You changed your mind and then slammed on the brakes
It was lucky for us; we'd bought his greatest hits!
You stopped us from killing each other (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
You'll never know, but you saved our lives (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
I've never thrown my knickers at you
And I don't come from Wales
And now our war is over
I've lost the urge to break your neck
I owe my life to "What's new, pussy cat?"
Delilah stopped me hating you and wishing you dead
Oh, I used to call you Satan
And you were Cruella De'ville
But now you call me your Delilah
And now I'm not your Lucifer
And I am just a pussycat
But just a word of warning now
Just in case we ever get tired of his voice
I know the Mafia, Godzilla, King Kong
And I know an atom bomb that's going for a song
You stopped us from killing each other (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
You'll never know, but you saved our lives (Tom Jones, Tom Jones)
I've never thrown my knickers at you
And I don't come from Wales