Got eighteen months for espionage
Too much brandy for breakfast
And people tend to let you down
It's a swine
Fantastic life
No penicillin to [eastern Great] Britain
And one thing I have found
What you cast out will hit back
And a man of pride has to deny his
Fantastic life
Ours is not to look back
Ours is to continue the crack
Met a fifty-four year old dustbin man
And four years he'd been in Jerusalem
Sell surplus oil to Arab fighters for aircraft
Fails to burn Jewish terrorists
Well it's a little
Fantastic life
Spells too easy to buy nowadays
And there's interference with the mail
And you just can't get out the words
Some people think if they had a job they'd be well
Hell!
A fantastic lie!
The Siberian mushroom Santa
Was in fact Rasputin's brother
And he gets to walk round Whitechapel
To further the religion of forgive, sin, and murder
Fantastic lie!
The white bread prole [big head]
He said he had a barney on Corporation Street
He said he told the policeman what he really thought
But knowing him I don't believe that crap
A Fantastic lie
And I just thought I'd tell you
And I just thought I'd tell you
About fantastic life
And I just thought I'd tell you
Some fantastic lies
And I just thought I'd tell you
And I just thought I'd tell you
I walked right round Wakefield Jail
A fantastic life
And I just thought I'd tell you
And I just thought I'd tell you