There is this older guy
That comes around from time to time
We're sure that he fought in the war
The war in Vietnam
Most of what he tells us
No one's verified
He swears that he was there
The day that Brendan Behan died

He also claims he trained
A kid named Cassius Clay
He cost Goldwater the election
On election day
If he was still with us today
Then he would introduce
Us to his closest friend
The one and only Lenny Bruce

The truth is what he used to and
What he's had to do and
What he's seen (and what he's done)
All things considered, what he's telling us
Isn't hurting anyone

We knew it's true
He's short a few
Check out the deck, it's light
Said he wrote the entire soundtrack to A Hard Day's Night
On Peyton Place played second place
He says but he regrets
The stadium was Shea, the team, the New York Mets

The truth is what he used to and
What he's had to do and
What he's seen (and what he's done)
All things considered, what he's telling us
Isn't hurting anyone

All things considered
He's not bitter
He's not mean (and he's not done)
All things considered, what he's telling us
Isn't hurting anyone

There is this older guy
That comes around from time to time
We're sure that he fought in the war
The war in Vietnam
Most of what he tells us
No one's verified
He swears that he was there
The day that Brendan Behan died

The truth is what he used to and
What he's had to do and
What he's seen (and what he's done)
All things considered, what he's telling us
Isn't hurting anyone

All things considered
He's not bitter
He's not mean (and he's not done)
All things considered, what he's telling us
Isn't hurting anyone