(Scream and gunshots)

Bless my soul what's wrong with me
I must be losing my grip
My girl's got a liking and it sure ain't me
It's the guys on 77 Sunset Strip

I wanna be a private eye
I wanna be a private eye
A hep cool cat with a short billed hat
I wanna be a private eye

I bought two tickets to the neighborhood show
Just to have myself a little fun
I went to her house and I knocked on her door
She was sitting in the den watching Peter Gunn

I wanna be a private eye
I wanna be a private eye
I wanna be a ham and get a girl named Sam
I wanna be a private eye

Well I wanna be like old Sam Spade
Perry Mason won't have nothing on me
If they want me to be like Richard Diamond
Always going round like a Simple Simon

I wanna be a private eye
I wanna be a private eye
I'm gonna get real mean like Ellery Queen
I wanna be a private eye

Now here I am in a lawless year
Line up like (untelligible) McGraw
I'm gonna drag my net through my secret door
I'm gonna get on the side of Johnny Law

I wanna be a private eye
I wanna be a private eye
Gonna sit down grinning, just call me Brennan
I wanna be a private eye

I wanna be a private eye
I wanna be a private eye
I wanna be a private eye