Some people like to get a train to work,
Or drive in a Beamer or a Merc
Some guys like to travel by bus,
But I can't be bothered with the fuss today,
I'm gonna take by bike,
'Cause once again the Tube's on strike

The greedy bastards want extra pay for sitting on their ass all day,
Even though they earn 30k,
So I'm here in the pouring rain

Where the fuck's my fucking train?
London Underground, London Underground!
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts!
London Underground, London Underground!
They're all greedy cunts;
I want to shoot them all with a rifle!

All they say is 'please mind the doors!'
And they learn that on their two day course,
This job can be done by a four year old,
They just leave us freezing in the cold

What you smell is what you get
Burger King and piss and sweat,
You roast to death in the boiling heat,
With tourists treading on your feet,
And chewing gum on every seat!

So don't tell me to mind the gap!
I want my fucking money back!
London Underground, London Underground!
They're all fucking useless cunts!
London Underground, London Undeground!
They're all grredy cunts;
I want to shoot them all with a rifle!

Lalalala
Lalalala

The floors are sticky, the seats are damp,
Every platform has a fucking tramp!
But the drivers get the day off when,
We're all late for work again!

London Underground, London Underground!
Wa wa wankers,
They're all wankers!
London Underground!

Take your Oyster card,
And shove it up your asshole!