I pulled into Memphis, I could not slow down
My brakes were gone, I wrecked the carfire on the ground
Then my car exploded and the flames licked my chin
And my life flashed before my eyes like an X-rated film
Like a poison arrow my soul shot through the sky
Landed there at heaven's gate, much to my surprise
And an angel with a halo walked up and said, "Hey, dude!
Welcome to Heavenwe've got this glass of milk for you"
(Chorus)
I said, "Hey St Peter, won't you open up your gate
I hear the Devil calling, now please don't make me late
He's got loud guitars, alcohol, cheap Jamaican whores
I don't want to stay in Heaven no more"

Well, Satan came a-running, said, "Hey, that boy is mine!"
He had a John Hiatt T-Shirt and trouble in his eye
Then the Devil on Cloud 7 and St Peter on Cloud 4
Played a hand of poker, and the winner gets my soul

Chorus

Well the last thing I remember, Satan held two Jacks
And I woke up in the back of a Memphis ambulance
And I do not know for certain which cards St Peter held
So I'm breaking all ten commandments to make sure I go to Hell

Chorus