My Whole Family lyrics

Every time I go to dinner
Seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner
I'll sit down at the breakfast table
I can talk, well they're not able
When I look at them I find
There's a single question on their mind

I wish it could go back to the way it was
It's not easy now because

My whole family thinks I'm gay,
I guess it's always been that way
Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk
Makes them think I like boys

That I like boys

The goddamn question just won't go away
And I get asked every single day
But the way they ask it is not a disguise,
Like, "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"

This is the worst,
Baby this was my fear
Now their opinions are crystal clear
Because

My whole family now is shocked
I'm in the closet, and the door is locked
Now my glory days are gone
I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John

My whole now suspects
Watching Spongebob had side-effects
I'm not gay and that's what I said
If I'm gay hey, God, strike me dead (cough, cough, cough)

That's weird

Just 'cause I'm on the cheerleading team
Or my birthday party had a Broadway theme

When I go outside, what do I see?
That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G
Because

I think that God might think I'm gay
What does He know anyway?
My grandma gave me a present just last year,
And the card said, "Happy Birthday, Queer!"

My whole family thinks I'm fa
There's a guy's butt hey, Bo, take a sta
Why doesn't he get women?
There's no other way
It's 'cause I'm lanky, not 'cause I'm gay, alright?

Not 'cause I'm gay

Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow
Or my favorite color is the rain(Bo)w that was a joke
I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must
'Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust
Because

Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay Mother fucker!

You all probably think I'm gay
Man this song is counter-productive
La la la la la la

Because
My whole family thinks I'm gay
What do they know anyway?
You gotta look right through the haze
Easy-Bake Oven was just a phase

My whole family thinks I'm queer
That is all I ever hear
But I've been as straight as a ramp,
If you don't count Bible camp

Bible camp

I'm not gay I swear