-- Nick Cave Dolls

Hi Glad you called
Guess what I'm doing right now!
Mmmm That's right
I'm walking along Hollywood Boulevard
All I hear are people around me asking each other
"Who's here? Who's here?"
But we know there aren't any stars out here

You know what I'd like right now?
Mmmm That's right
Chocolate cake with ice cream
Mmmm
Palm trees are swaying wildly around us
And the sky
Grows darker and darker
People are already on the streets
Some in terror, some in wonderment,
Most confused

You and I
We watch the funnel clouds hypnotically inch toward the ground,
And upon touchdown, turn into atomic mushroom clouds and explode
A few spectators applaud
Scared shitless, we duck into the Spanish Pavilion, but
It's remarkably unremarkable
There's nothing much to do so,
We go downstairs where That's right
Nude and lingerie-clad girls are having a pose-athon

Guess what I do!
That's right
I throw caution to the wind and peel off my girdle,
And take my place on the red vinyl ottoman
That stands in the middle of the lobby
The walls are covered in full-length mirrors
You have to admit the scene is pretty sexy
Then, I think to myself
"Is it politically correct to even be here?"
I mean, look what happened to Dorothy Stratton
Then I decide
"Oh, the hell with it, I'm horny!"

Just then, Jeff, the famous balding actor,
Famous for his tattooed 'Rebel Rose',
And loose-fitting Italian suits, walks by
He talks to us about That's right
All the toys he buried in his backyard
So no one else would play with them
He says one of his favorites is his Nick Cave Doll
I feel pity for the man, and hope one day
He'll grow hair
Then I think
"Wow! They have Nick Cave Dolls now
I waaaant ooone!"