1 I MET HER UP IN MISULA SHE OWNED HER OWN PULP TRUCK
SHE TOOK ME FOR A RIDE ONE NIGHT AND TOLD ME WE WERE STUCK
SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME AND SAID I'll KEEP YOU WARM
I WAS SO DUMB AND INNOCENT I didn't SEE THE HARM
2 THEN THEY STARTED WRESTLING AND HE ALMOST HAD HER BEAT
HE FOUGHT THAT BIG OL BEEFALO TILL SHE PINNED HIM TO THE SEAT
SHE MADE ME DRINK A CASE OF BEER EVERYTHING WAS A BLUR
WHEN I WORK UP THIS MORNING I WAS MARRIED TO HER
CHORUS:
HES MARRIED TO A LOGGER WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS DAD
BUT HIS DAD don't HAVE A MUSTACHE AND HIS FEET don't SMELL AS BAD
UP HERE IN THE LAST FRONTIER MEN ARE MEN it's TRUE
BUT SHE MAKES ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER LOOK LIKE PEGGY SUE
3 I CALLED UP HER DAD TO SEE IF HE WOULD TAKE HER BACK
HE LAUGHED SO HARD I THOUGHT he'd HAVE ANOTHER HEART ATTACK
HE SAID TO FIND A PAPER BAG TO PUT UPON HER HEAD
I GRABBED A K-MART SHOPPING BAG AND WENT ON BACK TO BED
4 HE TRIED TO PUT THE BAG ON HER BUT IT WAS WAY TOO SMALL
SHE GOT HIM IN A HAMMER LOCK AND PINNED HIM TO THE WALL
HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL WAKING UP TO YOU
IF IVE GOT TO WEAR A PAPER BAG YOU BETTER PUT ON TWO
(REPEAT CHORUS)