Now everybody's got a crazy notion of their own
Some like to mix up with a crowd, some like to be alone
It's no one else's business as far as I can see
But every time that I go out the people stare at me

With my little ukulele in my hand, of course the people do not understand
Some say why don't you be a scout, why don't you read a book?
But I get lots more pleasure when I'm playing with my uke

Of course I take no notice you can tell
For mother's sound advice will always stand
She said "My boy do what I say and you'll never go astray
If you keep your ukulele in your hand, yes son
Keep your ukulele in your hand"

While walking down the prom last night as peaceful as can be
When some young girl said "what about a stroll down by the sea?"
She said her name was Jane and that she'd just come for the day
She looked so young and harmless that I couldn't turn away

So with my little ukulele in my hand, I took a stroll with Jane along the sand
We walked along for miles without a single care or frown
But when we reached the sand hills she said "Come on let's sit down"
I felt so shy and bashful sitting there, 'cause the things I said she didn't understand
She said "Your love just turns me dizzy, come along big boy get busy"
But I kept my ukulele in my hand, yes sir, I kept my ukulele in my hand

Made up my mind that I'd get wed some eighteen months ago
I also bought a book about the things you want to know
But just about a week ago I got a awful fright,
I had to get dressed quickly in the middle of the night

And with my little ukulele in my hand, I ran along the road for Dr Brand
It didn't take him long to get his little bag of tools
I held his hat and coat and let him have my book of rules
Out of the bedroom door he looked and smiled

He said, "Come inside and see your wife and child"
My heart it jumped with joy, I could see it was a boy
For he had a ukulele in his hand, oh baby
He had a ukulele in his hand