If I was a rich man
And I had lots of money
Then I would buy you everything
That you could want honey
But I'm not, no, you know I'm not, yeah

And if I had a sweet car
For every drive we took
Then I would buy some sweet shades
So everyone would look
But I don't, no, you know it's killing me I don't, yeah

*Chorus*
'Cause baby there's a lot of things
That I know I will never be
But I can live with that
As long as you're with me

Now if I was a dog, baby
You could call me Rover
And I would have a doghouse
And you could come on over
But I'm not, no, hey you know I'm not, yeah

And if I was a cowboy
Then I would wear a hat
And you could be my cowgirl
Now I could go for that
But I'm not, no, no you know I'm not, yeah

*Chorus*

Now if I was a smooth man
Well I would have the ticket
I'd take you to the dance floor
And baby we would kick it
But I can't; you've seen me and you know I can't

*Chorus*

If my name was Jack, baby
You could be my Jill
And we'd be rockin' steady
Fetchin' water from that hill
But I'm not, no, hey you know I'm not, yeah

*Chorus*