[Background words spoken by BalSac The Jaws Of Death]
Y'know, back in outer space we used to drink -
a lot We used to take all kinds of kick-ass drugs
And showed blatant disrespect for any authority figures
Little did we know we were undermining our entire value system
At that time I was serving in the Masters 3rd Scumdog Legion
aboard a planetary infection barge,
attempting to obey a host of confusing orders,
but mostly satisfying only our lust for slaughter ravingly drunk half the time,
I only realized a battle had started
when I heard the roar of the fleets plasma bombardment
Piling into our armored assault pods we began our descent
to the planets pulverized surface
We were met by a flight of primitive interceptors
which we devastated with soaring blast of nuclear hatred,
flashing through the debris cloud into the atmosphere below
The obliteration of Flab Quarv 7 On the horizon was the blazing outlines
of a bombed city, the outlying areas dotted with flaming craters
and fleeing refuges I vomited out the window and led our battalion
on a blazing attack on the non-combatants pulpifying their flesh
in a rain of sulfuric plasma burst
The mass mutilation of a world ensued,
with those not being fit for slave labor being herded
into gigantic flaming pits
We laughed as several thousand years
of cultural development were wiped out
in a single blundering instant
Gorged on guts, gouged out eyes
Captives fill the breeding hive
Desecrate their sovereign world
Bloated, bloody, drunken churl
Cultures crumble, races die
Stench of midgets fill the sky
Smashing skulls with ghastly crunch
Pretty soon we'll break for lunch
Later, as we flew through deep space
Ritually disemboweling our victims
The navigator informed us that we
Attacked the wrong planet
Hehehehehahaha
The obliteration of Flab Quarv 7