When everyone wore loafers
I needed more support
I'd always hide when we take a drive
To that awful store
I had a choice of black or blue
The biggest ugliest ass shoes
But what could I do
My feet they came out funny

Mary McKay she had Mary Janes
With that patent leather shine
She was known as Tinker Bell
And I was Frankenstein

Big shoes before they were big
Big shoes I'll never forgive
My mother made me wear big shoes

In my school when Spring came
Sandals they were all the rage
With plastic beads on straps to match
Their painted nails
Heavy-footed in the hall
What I wanted most of all
Was red ball jets
So I could get over the schoolyard fence

Kip O'Neil she had high heels
She went all the way
By the time I got up to bat
They called off the game

Big shoes everyday
You can hear them coming a mile away
Outside you hear them say
Here comes Big Shoes

And when I could go to the real shoe store
On the shelves I looked in horror
On display were combat boots and platforms
Here comes Big Shoes

Big shoes before they were cool
Wanted feet so miniscule
I even wore them at the swimming pool
Here comes Big Shoes

Big shoes everyday
You can hear them coming a mile away
Outside you can hear them say
Here comes Big Shoes