You keep saying I watch too much TV
And my brain will soon disintegrate
Well, I've known kids who've been deprived of TV
And they're the ones who can't seem to relate
This TV is made for watchin'
And that's just what I'll do
One of these days TV is gonna take over you

Gilligan's Island exposed me to Hamlet
Neither a borrower nor a lender be
I've learned about identical cousins
And that Green Acres is the place to be
This TV is made for watchin'
And that's just what I'll do
One of these days this TV is gonna need a brand new tube

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time
Come and play, everything's a-okay
What do you do when you're branded and know you're a man?
You wanna go where everyone knows your name
This TV is made for watchin'
And by god that's what I'll do
One of these days this dude is gonna get that bubblin' crude
Oil, that is, black gold, texas tea