It's off the hook home slice, like a lucky fish
All I wish is that you taste this like a Swedish dish
It's the L-A-R-S, H-O double-R I-S
And I represent CV, and yes I must confess:
I'm back 2003 and the snare drum pumps
Back up, Kris Kross, it's my turn to jump
See I'm a Libra and I'm balanced,
Rocking it like Ritchie Valens,
And I'm up to this fresh session,
Yes I'm up to this fresh challenge
And I'm thinking, and I'm writing,
And I'm rapping, and I'll fighting
All the layers of green apathy
Clogging up the zone
Because I'll analyze your world,
I'll analyze your head
I'll readjust your paradigm with this microphone
I was chilling in my '88 south on 101,
With the woofer in the back bumping PE number one
Free-styling in a genre I didn't create,
Props to Melle Mel, Chuck D, and all eight
Hundred thousand MC's on whose shoulders I stand
I'm just a white kid with a plastic jammie in his hand!
See this MC here spends his life feeling fine,
But doesn't often get off in a straight line
Fine, time will tell where he's headed
It's up to chance, like Gretel's path is breaded
Your criticism? I'm above it! Your BS? Let's rubber glove it!
Take your heroin and shove it… life you've got to love it
So get this, steal this, deal this, peel this away,
I made this song out of my brain neurons and clay
It helped my brain chill for a week and a day,
Until one day it stopped working like the city of Pompeii
But it's okay, hey, because I roll it home
Knick knack paddy whack, my sonic range his grown
Profound like Antoine De Saint Exuperey,
When I rock the chorus of this song I say…

CHORUS
Lars Horris,” hey that's me!
Part Swedish, part Australian, full fun boy G
Lars Horris,” hey that's me!
I scored 1430 on my SAT's
Lars Horris,” hey that's me!
I'll rock the CoHo like 1-2-3
Lars Horris,” hey that's me!
I drop English and math and biology

I piss Catholics off with my comic in the Daily Why's it called '27th Street'?” Man, don't front me
Jorge Cham might do PhD,” but can he ever try to rock the mike like me?
And I'm weird like Al, don't attend Cal, DJ's my buddy Who's Mike?
Josh plays bass and I take wedding vows,
To my hip-hop rhymes that I'm busting now
And I satisfy women like GER's,
I advocate the destruction of SUV cars
I think Israel and Palestine should get along
I sampled Nine Inch Nails for this song
And I'm so post-modern, I don't even exist
Did you hear that P Diddy?
You just got dissed!
It's the twenty-first century, MC's please,
You're killing hip-hop when you sample the Bee Gees!
Most MC's today rap about five things:
Narcotics, cars, girls, clothes, and the bling bling
Delusions of grandeur in full swing,
Fascist self focus and diamond rings
But if Martin Luther King were alive today,
How would he weigh the decay displayed?
Homogenized identities, ourselves betrayed,
There's more to rap than just getting paid
And there's more to life than MTV and Reeses Pieces,
And when I sit in silence, my love for life increases
It feels great to pull the plug on the family TV,
And make my own niche in society
And while I freak this beat, you're doing spoken word,
Trying to get your naked voice heard
If I didn't know ProTools, I'd be like you
And I could just do spoken word if I wanted to

CHORUS
Lars Horris,” hey that's me!
You might see me on the street bumping Run-DMC
Lars Horris,” hey that's me!
After my BA I'll get my PhD
Lars Horris,” hey that's me!
Metaphysically fly like John Donne's The Flea”
Lars Horris,” hey that's me!
Rewriting Bronte like Wide Sargasso Sea