Why you going out with that Gold's Gym guy?
I saw you kissing him on the Fourth of July
Baby, can't you see I got tears in my eyes?
Why you going out with that Gold's Gym guy?

Baby's got a thing for muscle bound jocks
I collapse a lung just taking off my socks
I'm holed up in the closet and I'm pettin' my fox
She treats me like I got a bad case of small cocks, but

Why you going out with that Gold's Gym guy?
I saw you kissing him on the Fourth of July
Baby, can't you see I got tears in my eyes?
Why you going out with that Gold's Gym guy?

He's got a big truck, and it's bigger than my dump
It's bigger than the bank account of Donald Trump
It's bigger than the feeling that I've got in my rump
He's got as many brains as a gasoline pump, but

Why you going out with that Gold's Gym guy?
I saw you kissing him on the Fourth of July
Baby, can't you see I got tears in my eyes?
Why you going out with that Gold's Gym guy?

He shaves his legs and so I asked him if he was bi
He grabbed me 'round the throat and said, "Prepare to die"
Everybody says that I'm a nicer guy
But he's like malathion, I'm a simple Med fly, yeah

Why you going out with that Gold's Gym guy?
I saw you kissing him on the Fourth of July
Baby, can't you see I got tears in my eyes?
Why you going out with that Gold's gym guy?