Allo, Allo, my names Terry and i'm a law abider
Theres nothing i like more than getting fired up on beer,
and when the weekends here,
i exercise my right to get paraletic and fight
Good bloke fairly
But i get well lairy when geezers look at me funny,
bouncin' 'round like bunnies
I'm likely to cause mischief,
good clean grief, you must believe
and i aint no thief
Law abinding an' all, all legal
Who cares bout my liver when it feels good
What you need is some real manhood
Rasha, rasha, bernie-casha
Puttin peoples backs up
Public disorder, i'll give you public disorder,
i down eight pints and run all over the place,
spit in the face of an officer,
see if that bothers ya,
cos i've never broke a law in my life
Some day i'm gonna settle down with a wife
Come on lads lets have another fight
Hello, my names tim and i'm a criminal
in the eyes society i need to be in jail,
for the choice of herbs i inhale
This aint no wholesale operation
Just a few eighths and some playstations my vocation
I pose a threat to the nation,
and down at the station the police hold no patience
Lets talk about space and time,
i like to get deep sometimes and think about einstein and karl jung,
and old kung fu movies i like to see,
pass the hydrator please
Mmmyea, i'm floatin on thin air,
goin to amsterdam in the new year,
top gear there
Cos i take pride in my hobby
Homemade bongs using my engineering degree
"Dear Leaders, Please legalise weed for these reasons"
Like i was sayin 2 him, i told him
fuck with me and you wont win,
so i smacked him in the head and downed another carling
Bada bada bing, for the lads like
Mad fight His face is a sad sight
vodka and snakebite
Goin on like a right geeze, he's a twat!
Shouldnt have looked at me like that!
AnywayI'm an upstanding citizen
If a war came along i'd be standing on the front line with them
Can't stand crime either,
them 'ooligans on 'eroin
Drugs and criminal
Those thugs are the pinacle of the downfall of society
ive got all the anger pent up inside of me
No I don't see why i should be the criminal
How could something with no recorded fatalities be illegal?
And how many deaths are there per year from alcohol?
I just completed gran turismo on the hardest setting
we pose no threat on my settee
Oh, the pizza's here will someone let him in please?
We didnt order chicken Not a problem we'll pick it out
I doubt they meant to mess us about
After all we're adults not louse
As I was sayin we're friendly peaceful people
We're not the ones out there causing trouble
We just sit in this hazy bubble with our quarters,
discusing how beautiful gail porter is
MTV BBC2 Channel 4, is on til 6 in the morning,
then 6 in the morning the sun dawns and its my bed time
Causing trouble?! Your stinkin rabble boys sayin i'm the one thats spoilin it
Your on drugs!
Really bugs me when people try and tell me i'm a thug,
just for getting drunk! i like getting drunk
I'm an upstanding citizen,
if a war came along i'd be on the front line with them
Now Terry Your repeating yourself,
but thats ok, drunk people can't help that
A chemical reaction happening inside your brain
causes you to forget what your saying
What? I know exactly what i'm saying!
I'm perfectly sane, you stinkin student lamo
Go get a job and stop robbin' us of our taxes
Erm, well, actually, according to research
Government funding for further education,
pales in insignificance when compared to how much they spend on repairing,
lairy drunk people every weekend in casualty wards,
all over the land
Why you cheeky lil swine!
Come ere! I'm gonna batter ya!
Come ere!