As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricty
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milking cows,
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plowsfool!
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land I'm into discipline
Got my Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
CHORUS-
We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise
I've churned butter once or twice living in an Amish Paradise
It's hard work and sarifice living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish Paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek,
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it,
An Amish with a 'tude you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in blackfool!
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare,
We're just technologically impared
There's no phones no lights no motor cars not a single luxury
Like Robinson carusoe we're as primitive as can be
CHORUS-
We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise
We're just plain and simple guys lving in an Amish Paradise
There's no time for sin and vice living in an Amish Paradise
We don't fight we all play nice living in an Amish Paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter, raise a barn on Monday,
Soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righeous, think you're pure in heart
Well I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlets wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny or else my brother I might have to ger medieval on
your heiny
CHORUS-
We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish Paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish Paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish Paradise
But you'd probably think it bites living in an Amish Paradise