i hate you from the moment you walk in
you smell like old mothballs and gin
"how are you kind folks? please have a seat
while i try to ignore the pain in my feet"

and i hate the smell of perfume
i hope this day ends really soon

and i've got to get out of here
i've got to find a way to get out of here

why bother to ask for the fat-free cheese?
you look like you eat as much as you please
don't ask me if i've tried the veal
honestly i'd rather suck a banana peel

and i hate the smell of this place
and that smug look on your face

and i've got to get out of here
i've got to find a way to get out of here

and i can see your eggs are runny
i didn't cook them, you big stupid dummy!
don't patronize me, honey!
all i need (all i want) is your money

why do you people make me so mad?
it's probably because you tip so bad
i'm sorry, i'm in a bad mood
i'll feel better after i spit in your food

and i hate the smell of your smoke
but i'd rather do this than go broke

and i've got to get out of here
i've got to find a way to get out of here