Wiped out down the stairs
I'll bet you there's a song in there
I'm not sure I'm prepared to write it down
That guy should be me
I'd look much better on TV
Then the world would see
That I can do anything

I can be that
But soon you'll see that
I will never do anything

Let's play tic tac toe
I'll play X, you can be the O
Thoughts of turning pro
Have crossed my mind
I could make a mint
Fill my pockets with more than lint
I'll give you a hint
It involves the "internet"

I can be that
But soon you'll see that
I will never do anything
I can be that
But soon you'll see that
I will never do anything

Don't write me off as an also ran
Just mark me down as an angry man
Got a big chip, you want a fat lip?
How 'bout a mouthful of Chiclets?
Life passed me by, but it's not my fault
I'll lick my wounds, could you pass the salt?
I can be that, but soon you'll see that
I will never do anything

If I were the king
All my subjects they would dance and sing
They could kiss my ring
And kiss my ass
When I'm old and grey
I'll look back on my life and say
"Give me one more day,
And I'll still never do anything"

I can be that
but soon you'll see that
I will never do anything
I can be that
But soon you'll see that
I will never do anything
I can be that
But soon you'll see that
I will never do anything
I can be that
But soon you'll see that
I will never do anything