I said a bad word when I was a kid Mamma said that I'd be sorry for the sin that I did My daddy whooped me and the
preacher said shame And I tried like hell to change

(Chorus)

But I cuss, I smoke I laugh at dirty jokes The minor voices Man I know 'em well I've closed down bars I've lusted in
my heart My ex's think I ougta burn in hell But the devil he won't notice when I die Don't you figure he's got bigger fish
to fry

Politicians taking pork barrel bribes Crooked CEOs are getting off with no time Christmas Eve burglers stealing good
children's toys (Can't say Christmas) Holiday burglers stealing good children's toys

(Chorus)

I cuss, I smoke I laugh at dirty jokes The minor voices Man I know 'em well I've closed down bars I've lusted in my
heart My ex think I ougta burn in hell But the devil won't even notice when I die Yeah don't you figure he's got bigger
fish to fry

Yeah there's gonna be bonfire burning An everlasting barbecue But with all the bad stuff going on There ain't gonna be
room for me and you

(Chorus 2)

'Cause we cuss, we smoke We laugh at Tater's jokes (spoken): Tell one Jim You know you're old when your wife says honey
let's run upstairs and make love And your answer is "I cannot do both" The minor voices, man we know 'em well We've closed
down bars We've lusted in our hearts Our ex's think we ougta burn in hell But the devil he won't notice when we dieHey
don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry Yeah don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry Pass the tartar sauce

When we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing it will be