This is Walter Funkite,
On the campus of Fun City College,
Where a slight difference of opinion
Seems to be taking place
Between the students and local authorities who say,
"Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhh"

With me is Mr Happiness,
Mayor Daily of Chicago
Mr Mayor, what do you see here today?
"Hair, long beautiful hair"

The student leader is resplying to Mayor Daily
"Thank you baby"

We switch you now,
To the White House in Washington
The President has a statement to make
To the students,
"It's your thing, do what you wanna do"

This is Walter Funkite, back on Campus
"Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhh"

One of the students has an important question,
"Where's the playground, Suzy?"

Governor Wallace has come up from Alabama
For a few laughs
Governor, what do you see taking place here?
"I see, a bad moon rising"

A student has something to say to Governor Wallace
"To know, know, know you, is to love, love, love you"

We switch you again to Washington,
Where we hear Vice President Agnew,
Finishing his speech
"So on, and so on, and doobie doobie do"

This is Walter Funkite, back on Campus, again
"Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhh"

The tension is mounting
Here is Adam Clayton Powell,
"Ahhhhhhhhhh"

Uh, uh, Mr Powell,
What is it you really want?
"I don't want nobody, to give me nothin'"

There's U B Humphrey
What seems to be the trouble?
"I've been hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt"

Mayor Lindsay and the City Council
Have come to Fun City College
At their own expense
To say something of momentous importance
"This is the dawning of the age of aquarius"

Together in the throng
Are Governor Regan and Rap Brown
Governor, where did you two first meet?
"In the ghetto"

Mr Brown, how does a controvery like this usually end?
"Only the strong survive"

This is Walter Funkite,
Signing off with the playing of my theme song,
"Oh happy days"