(Dolly Parton)
Backstory:
Tabloid prediction: Dolly Parton will announce she's falling madly in love with a 300 pound professional wrestler She'll write a song about their relationship titled "Headlock on My Heart" and feature her massive muscleman in the video
Dolly: Now this actually came out in this magazine Now, you folks I'm sure buy these every week at the supermarket, right? And you know they never put anything in these magazines that's not true, right? So I figured since I was gonna fall in love anyhow, why wait? So I went out and I found me a 300 pound wrestler and I sat down and I wrote a song called "Headlock on My Heart" and I did a video As a matter of fact, in the same magazine on a page opposite, there was a picture of Hulk Hogan Now, I love Hulk Hogan My Daddy's crazy about him, so I called Hulk, I said "Would you do this?" ?Cause the song is a fantasy, and it's about a guy named Starlight Starbright He said "Aw sure, I'd do anything with you, Dolly!" I said "Well, thanks, Hulk, I ought to hug your neck!" So wouldn't that be something if me and Hulk really wound up getting married? Watch this video
Song:
The first time that I saw him
Was in a wrestling magazine
Then I watched him on TV,
Then I bought a ringside seat
His name was Starlight Starbright,
The greatest in the land
He sprinkled stardust in my eyes
I was his biggest fan
He's got a headlock on my heart
It was a takedown from the start
He's a master of the art
He's got a headlock on my heart
Spoken:
Referee: 300 pounds of magic right here in the ring tonight
Starlight Starbright: Wrestling fans, big and small, who's the greatest of them all?
Dolly: Starlight! Starlight Starbright! Starlight! Starlight Starbright!
He dazzled ?em with brilliance,
He outshined all the rest
And I loved the heart that beat
Beneath his massive golden chest
Spoken:
Dolly: In this ring, I thee wed
Referee: Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?
Starlight Starbright: I do!
Referee: And do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?
Dolly: I do, I truly do!
Referee: I now pronounce you man and wife
Dolly: Uh, you may now kiss the bride
He's got a headlock on my heart,
That it may likely never part
He knew the ropes right from the start
He's got a headlock on my heart
Spoken:
Dolly: Well, it's a whole new arena for me,
But it's a whole new wrestling match for him
I guess you could say he pinned me down for a lifetime
He's got a headlock on my heart
It was a takedown from the start
He's a master of the art
He's got a headlock on my heart
He's got a headlock on my heart,
That it may likely never part
He knew the ropes right from the start
He's got a headlock on my heart