What are we crazy or something
At Wanamaker's and Saks and Klein's
A lesson I've been taught
You can't get alterations on a dress you haven't bought

At any vegetable market from Borneo to Nome
You mustn't squeeze a melon till you get the melon home

You've simply got to gamble
You get no guarantee
Now doesn't that kind of apply to you and I
You and me
Whatever
Why not?
Why not what?

Marry the man today
Trouble though he may be
Much as he likes to play
Crazy and wild and free

Marry the man today
Rather than sigh in sorrow
Marry the man today
And change his ways tomorrow

Marry the man today
(Marry the man today)
Maybe he's leaving town
(Maybe he's leaving town)
Don't let him get away
(Don't let him get away)
Hurry and track him down
(Counterattack him and)
Marry the man today
Give him the girlish laughter
Give him your hand today
And save the fist for after

Slowly introduce him to the better things
Respectable, conservative, and clean
Readers Digest
Guy Lombardo
Rogers Peet
Golf
Galoshes
Ovaltine
But marry the man today
Handle it meek and gently
Marry the man today and train him subsequently

Carefully expose him to domestic life
And if he ever tries to stray from you
Have a pot roast
Have a headache
Have a baby
Have two
Six
Nine
Stop
Marry the man today
Rather than sigh and sorrow
Marry the man today
And chance his ways
(And chance his ways)
And chance his ways
(And chance his ways)
And chance his ways tomorrow