Here's a story about a boy named Jerry:
Got slaughtered then got real leery
In the pub he acted absurd
Then came home to a boxer's bird
So he got knocked out,
Faced swelled up like a rainbow trout
His girl found out the truth,
But he couldn't explain 'cause he'd lost a tooth!

I wanna drink, drink, drink
Smoke, fuck, fight
I wanna shout and scream
I wanna die
I wanna be arrested,
I wanna be molested
Oh, my head's in pain,
Next weekend let's do it again!

An anecdote about a man named Clive:
Wasn't one to usually drink drive,
But after all he'd been for a snack
And so it was a bit too far to walk back
A month later and he's sitting in court,
For the two lives he cut short
Manslaughter he's convicted
For the pain that he inflicted

Spinning! My head is spinning,
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning,
Oh, my body's burning
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Here's a story about a chap named Garf:
Drank four pints in a hour 'n' a half
Though the night had just begun
Because his local pub's open 'till one
The next morning out in the country,
Hung over and on a hunt he
Was still drunk and he pissed himself;
Fell off his horse and shot himself!

Spinning! My head is spinning,
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning,
Oh, my body's burning
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Have a drink, have a drink, have a drink

Our liquid lives! (x 8)

Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!
Our liquid lives!
Our liquid lives!
This is how we all survive!

Here's a story about a girl named Kate:
Got wasted and got date raped
When they'd told the doctors she'd seen,
They found no chemicals in her bloodstream
Well, nothing malicious
But the alcohol level was suspicious
When asked who'd hurt her
Poor old Kate couldn't remember!

Spinning! My head is spinning,
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning,
Oh, my body's burning
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive

Drink! Smoke! Fuck! Fight!

Our liquid lives!
Our liquid lives!
This is how we all survive!