My auntie's in the parlour sipping sherry from a paper cup
And father'd bite your head off, he's working up to nine o'clock
Sister's only sixteen and she thinks she's on the shelf
And mother says don't worry, you've always got your health
You've always got your health

Times ain't what they used to be, but then they never were
Looking forward to the good old days in my rocking chair
If I knew ten years ago the things that I know now
I'd understand where and when and wonder why and how
I'd understand where and when and wonder why and how

At three o'clock we'd hear the bell, it never rang before it's time
To the back seat of the bus, making faces at the cars behind
Join the conversation, but we never had the nerve
Children should be seen they said, and never should be heard
Should be seen and never heard

I fell in love at seventeen, both of us mature and wise
Couldn't put two words together, but I thought the sun shone from her eyes
Ended at the altar when I took the wedding vow
Went running to the mirror, saw the wrinkles on my brow
Saw the wrinkles on my brow

I gave up on religion for the better, maybe for the worse
Avoiding Father Murphy, his blessings always were a curse
Life was getting colder so I bought a winter coat
And jumped off the nearest bridge, what a time to learn to float
What a time to learn to float

There's a bad girl down the street and she is standing by the factory gate
She said she'd fall in love some day, but up til then she'd have to wait
Settle for a husband and a family saloon
And 27 children and collecting Mills & Boon
Collecting Mills & Boon