Please mister, don't you touch me tomato
No, don't touch me tomato
Touch me on me pumpkin, potato
For goodness' sake, don't touch me tomato

Touch me this, touch me that
Touch me everything I got
Touch me plum, me apples too
But here's one thing you just can't do

All you do is feel up, feel up
Ain't you tired of feel up, feel up
All you do is squeeze up, squeeze up
Ain't you tired of squeeze up, squeeze up

Mister, take advice from me
The more you look is the less you'll see
But if you just must have your way
Double the price you'll have to pay

Oh, you're hard like a coconut
But nuts, oh nuts, are nothing but?
Make up your mind, man, what is what

All you do is feel up, feel up
Ain't you tired of feel up, feel up
All you do is squeeze up, squeeze up
Ain't you tired of squeeze up, squeeze up