I woke up this morning
with a bad hangover
and my coochie was missing again
This happens all the time:
it's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time:
I can leave it home
when I think it's going to get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out
when I don't need it
But now and then I go to a party,
get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it

First I looked around my apartment
and I couldn't find it
so I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
(because for some reason I leave it there sometimes)
but not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know
I called some other people from the party
but they were no help either

I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my coochie for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast
Then as I walked down Second Avenue
towards St Mark's place where all those
people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my coochie lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
He wanted 22 bucks,
but I talked him down to 17
I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on

I was happy again
Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but,
I don't know Even though it's sometimes a winky in the ass,
I like having a detachable coochie