Any chimp can play human for a day
Use his opposable thumbs to iron his uniform
And run for office on election day
Fancy himself a real decision maker
And deploy more troops than salt in a shaker

But it's a jungle when war is made,
And you'll panic and throw your own shit at the enemy
The camera pulls back to reveal your true identity
Look, it's a sheep in wolf's clothing
A smoking gun holding ape

Any asshole can open up a museum
Put all of the things he loves on display
So everyone could see them
The house, a car, a thoughtful wife
Ordinary moments in his ordinary life

But if she breaks a smile, she'll give you away
'cause no one wants to pay to see your happiness
No one wants to pay to see your day to day
And I'm not buying it either
But I'll try selling it anyway

Any idiot can play Greek for a day
And join a sorority or write a tragedy
And articulating all that pain
And maybe you'll get paid

But it's a sin when success complains,
And your writers block-it don't mean shit
Just throw it against the wall and see what sticks
Gotta write a hit
I think this is it
It's a hit

And if it's not,
Then it's a holiday for hanging
Yeah it's a holiday for hanging
Yeah it's a holiday for hanging
Yeah shoo-bop-shoo-bop my baby

Any fool can play executioner for a day,
And say with fingers pointed in both directions
'he went thataway',
It's only a switch or syringe,
Aww, exempt from eternal sins
But you still wear a cross,
And you think you're gonna get in

Ah, but the pardons never come from up-stairs
They're always a moment too late,
But it's entertainment
Keep the crowd on their toes,
It's justice, we're safe
It's not a hit, it's a holiday
Shoo-bop-shoo-bop my baby

It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah

I'm a holiday for hanging,
I'm a holiday for hanging,
I'm a holiday yeah
I'm a holiday for hanging,

It's a holiday for hanging, yeah