(N Albert, D Brockenborough)
Polk-a-dots just don't go
pointy shoes hurt my toes
paisley makes me nauseous
when I'm down with plaid, be cautious
fucked up stripes, I just don't feel right
when I'm chill with Joe late at night
money, cars, more money, no!
won't make me leave my plaid at home
cuz I'm BAD IN PLAID
time spent in hawaiian shirts
some mistakes were even worse
like acid washed, or skinny ties
wraparound sunglasses on my eyes
now plaid is the color of my soul
so I wear it, from head to toe
breakin' microphones for the crowd
I'm bad in plaid and I'm plaid and I'm proud