Why be sweet, why be careful, why be kind?
A man has only one thing on his mind
Why ask politely, why go lightly, why say please?
They only want to get you on your knees!
There's a few things that I never could believe:

A woman when she weeps,
A merchant when he swears,
A thief who says he'll pay
A lawyer when he cares,
A snake when he is sleeping,
A drunkard when he prays
I don't believe you go to heaven when you're good;
Everything goes to hell, anyway!

Laissez-faire mi amour, ce la vie
Shall I return to shore or swim back out to sea?
The world don't care what a sailor does in town,
It's all hanging in the windows by the pound
I don't believe you go to heaven when you're good;
Everything goes to hell, anyway!

I only want to hear you purr and to hear you moan
You have another man who brings the money home!
I don't want dishes in the sink,
Don't ask me what I feel or what I think
There's a few things that I never could believe:

A woman when she weeps,
A merchant when he swears,
A thief who says he'll pay
A lawyer when he cares,
A snake when he is sleeping,
A drunkard when he prays
I don't believe you go to heaven when you're good;
Everything goes to hell, anyway!

Everything goes to hell, anyway!
Oh, everything goes to hell, anyway!