I broke my promise on a very sharp rock
And I was possessed by something quite unfriendly
And I was haunted by a demon in my sleep
And that's how I learned how to survive

And I gave a beer to a bum that was drinking
And I gave some sauce to my bestest friend for cooking
And I gave water to all I thought were thirsty
And that's how I learned how to survive

I gave my money to the bank for safe keeping
And I gave my money to my landlord he was needing it
And I gave attention to the TV that was bleeding
And that's how I learned how to survive

But if you ain't got the do-re-mi boys
If you got the do-re-mi
Well you better go back to beautiful Texas
Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee
California's a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see
But believe it or not you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do-re-mi

And we totally ripped off a man named Woody Gutherie
And I bought a restaurant for his son named Alice
And I fed false information to the audience
And that's how I learned how to survive

And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me
And I give a finger to my step-father for beating me
And I give props to myself for achieving
And god damn I'm glad that I survived
And god damn I'm surprised that I survived

We just handed you a giant load of gibberish
And I give love to a lover quite deserving of it
And I give thanks to all of you for listening
To the story of how we learned how to survive