"My life's getting pretty bad
My dad just stole my porno mag
He took the one with the really flyass chick
I didn't know what to do,
So I walked right into his room
Dad was getting busy,
Mom was sucking on his
Dictionaries have me pictured under pathetic,
and if you read it, it would say
that my life's a living hell, I need some mental help, I need to get ahold
of myself

It's the story of my life that I can't go out tonight,
because I didn't come home after class
And it's the story of my life that I can't go out tonight,
So now I'm stuck here at home, stuck all alone, stuck right here on my ass

My life's nothing but a bore
The girl I like is a dirty whore
My life's going nowhere but down the drain
Each night I sit up waiting for someone to call me
My mom caught me masturbating to scrambled Spice TV
Dictionaries have me listed under loser,
I'm pretty sure it used to say
that my life's a living hell, I need some mental help, I need to get ahold of
myself

It's the story of my life that I can't go out tonight,
Because I didn't come home after class
And it's the story of my life that I can't out tonight,
So now I'm stuck here at home, stuck all alone, stuck right here on my ass"