"Hi gang, ah uh, I'm not technically wearing pants right now, but um I'm from beautiful Massachusetts and I uh know what your thinking Massachusetts, gangsta rap So, I'm gonna try that right now This is the greatest and most humble rap you will ever hear

Yo I don't got bros, don't hang on the streets
I don't beat my hos, I only beat my meat
Don't womanize cause you no it's true
That when you look in thier eyes you see thier people too
Mother effin suffrage!
You know I'm a gangsta, you know I do coke,
But I had to go to diet, cause it burnt my throat
I've been doin drive-bys all of my life,
Cept the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike

314 apple pi,
I whip, clean it off, and stick it in her eye
And by "it" I mean contact lense
314 apple pi,
I got rhymes and flows that make hitler cry
George bush wont he just yell and rant
But he's a presidon't who ameriCANT

I spit gangsta hymns, cause I'm a gangsta straight,
I think of 20 inch rims when I masterbate
We're gonna be late, there's no time to waste,
Cause the girls that I date, have a particular taste
The taste of my weiner! (snap)

314 apple pi why was I born white no one quite knows why,
Gansgsta sell their rocks, I've got a collection
You couldnt get a rise out of a yeast infection

I'm a lyrical heretic, but I'll make you laugh
Hit with you rhetoric, then I'll cut you in half
Don't need to be a clown, I don't need to be nice,
How bout you sit down, and I serve you slice

Of my 314 apple pi my voice is so smokey it'll make you high
Heres a confession it's all about me,
Heres my impression of a broken jet ski

Here come the puns
All yo little thugs wanna mess me with me?
Know that I've been doin drugs since the age of 3
I took my ceral, stabbed it open with a knife
Snorted that shit and I got high on Life
A guy asked me for change, saying my mind was too dense
I said you wont make cents if you don't make sense
Big finale

You know I flow and show it, you know that bo know it,
You're lawn I'll mow it and grow it cause he's a sho' poet
Yo my rims be spinning I winning, like adam I be sinning
Potato skinnnin and knittin and separate those linens
And in my eyes you see flies, and though you people tries
Just to disguise all your lies, but baby I be wise
You know I did it and shit it you brothers couldnt hit it,
Then you try to ride it, too late! I already spit it