When I was a little kiddy
My mommy she would tell me
Even the world's best laid plans
End up in the garbage can
We got a saying around our house
Your shit's in a knot, your head should me in a noose
High blood pressure and an early death
Is all it'll get you so you might as well accept that

CHORUS:

SHIT!
Happens
SHIT!
Happens
It happens, it happens
SHIT!
Happens
SHIT!
Happens
DON'T WORRY!
'cause shit will always happen

She had a little party while her parents were away
Guess she figured everything would be okay
35 skinheads and a rugby team
Drinking that liquor cabinet clean
Best friend's brother was a biker
So you hired his gang for the bouncers
Started wrecking your place so you called the cops
The cops get in your face and destroy your house you see

Chorus

I'm not sick and I'll always be like this
There's something to think about while I take a piss
I whip out my dick and I point it at the hole
I then relax and let the pressure flow
An extra stream will start to squirt
Right up in the air, and on my shirt
But I won't be mad, nor get uptight
'cause it happens like this every fuckin night

Chorus