There were twenty, maybe, twenty-five of us
Drivin' out to California in a bus
We were looking for a good time
And a radio station we could trust

Suddenly we heard an angry thud
And our mighty chariot turned into a dud
We were stopped there in our tracks, man
Adjacent to some cows chewing their cud

Lord, please send some mercy down to me
50 miles south of Bowling Green
This will clearly never be my scene
Why does every city start with 'C'?
There's only one sure thing that I know:
I've got to get out of Ohio!
'Til then I'll never feel love

They say that what you give is what you're gonna get
It's no wonder everything's gone to shit
Because they've given us John Boehner,
You better believe they've given us Jean Schmidt!

And the floodgates of hell have opened wide
It's better to get all politics aside
They're gonna roll out Joe the Plumber
Just to make sure our minds get properly fried

Lord, be merciful and let me die
50 miles south of Lodi
Round on both ends and the middle's high
What's so great about a buckeye?
Whose might is riptide and undertow
There's no escaping from Ohio
I'll never get to feel love

Hey!
The walls they are closing in,
But I'm just inside of Michigan
The only way that I'll obtain ya,
Is if I get over to Pennsylvania
Except for TV, V, and DEVO
Nothing seems to redeem Ohio
It is the state that killed my love

Hey!
Don't you want to come with me
Hey!
And make a break for Kentucky
Hey!
I still got something to put in ya
Hey!
But we'll have to go to West Virginia
And I've heard great things about Indiana, too