Once I was the king of spain (The king of spain, live in Buffalo!)
Oh, my unspeakable wife, Queen Lisa (Don't mention Lisa)
I'm telling you I was the king of spain! (The king of former cone heads)
And now I work at the Pizza Pizza!

One! Two! Three! Four!

Royalty, lord it looked good on me
Buried in silk in the royal boudoir or going nuclear free
Or playing Crokinole with the Princess of Monaco
Telling my jokes to the OPEC leaders, getting it all on video

Once I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
A palatial palace, that was my home, now I eat humble pie
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
And now I vacuum the turf at SkyDome
Once he was the King of Spain

I can't wait, I'm lowering interest rates, my people say:
"King, How are you such a genius?"
"There's a cone on your head"
"Bonita!"
It's laissez-faire, I don't even give a care
Let's make Friday part of the weekend
And give all of these people a chocolate eclair

Once I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
Hey Clinton! Hey Yeltsin! Got problems?
You phone me, now I eat humble pie
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain, now I eat humble pie
Now the Leafs call me up to drive the Zamboni
Once he was the King of Spain

Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you Stan Makita, and the Players!

(Various skat like sounds)

Now, some of you may be wondering how the King of Spain came to be living in North America
working at these, uh, minimum wage tye jobs
(How did it happen king?)
Yes, everybody wants to know, don't they?
(Most people)
And as literary convention would have it, this song has an epilogue,
are you curious about the epilogue?
[Cheers]
Do you want to know? [Tell us king!]
Do you want to know? [Tell us king!]
Do you want to know? [Tell us king!]
Should I tell them then, guys?
(Tell us king!)

You see late one night when the palace was asleep
Out of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep
And I wait till the appointed time, when the moon is lighting the pitch
At which point my peasant friend, who looks just like me
Arrives and we make switch!

[GASP!]

Prince and pauper, junior and whopper
World made up of silver and copper
Under my own volition, I took a change of position
So next time you drool in the pizza line
Remember, slower pizza's more luscious
The King of Spain NEVER rushes!

Once I was the King of Spain
(now I eat humble pie)
I was lookin' for off-handed ways to improve us
(now I eat humble pie)
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain
(now I eat humble pie )
And now I'm jamming with Moxy Fruvous!

Once he was the King of Spain!