I chatted up a blue eye,
One dizzy Friday night,
There was a cherry drop who didn't wanna stop

I met a dandelion,
I met a lemon cloud,
I saw a pornographic phonograph spin ‘round

Chorus:
But there ain't no one,
Who turns me like you do,
And there ain't no one,
Who does it like, does it like you (do),
And when we're goin',
I like the way you move,
There ain't no one,
Ain't no one

Talked to a digital trick,
Who's nicknamed ‘Appleseed,'
Who gets down at the Abbey on both knees to please

I met a razor mouth,
A little vampire,
A little battery who never gets tired

Chorus

There ain't no one who compares,
There ain't no one keeps me high,
There ain't no one makes me stare,
Like I can't believe my eyes
There ain't no one makes me weak,
Hardly speak, find a drink so I can think,
There ain't no one,
Ain't no one

Chorus