Why am I forgotten, by the girl I love, because my clothes hang on me like a sack
I know I'm not athletic and look a bit pathetic, and wear most of my chest upon my back
The nation's got an A1 plan, and I might turn into a man,
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn

I'd grow spinach on my chest, where the birds could build a nest
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn
In competitions, exhibitions, Catch as Catch Catch,
I would win some lovely cups and saucers to match
The girls would all love my physique, I'd let them see it twice a week,
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn

My ribs at knock knock, wouldn't play or rattle on a windy day,
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn
Hercules was far from slim, but I could show them more than him
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn
In competitions, exhibitions, Catch as Catch Catch,
I would win some lovely cups and sauces to match

The ladies "white hope" I would be, they'd hope to see much more of me
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn
I'd look swell when out of doors, in my fifty bob plus fours,
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn

My photo in the press you'd see, to show what "bile beans" did for me
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn
In competitions, exhibitions, Catch as Catch Catch,
I would win some lovely cups and sauces to match
I'd have strength to carry on and something good to sit upon,
If I'd Biceps, Muscle and Brawn